Setting Boundaries: Turns Out It's Not About You - A Deep Dive Review

by Lindsey Krause (Author)

Updated at: 07/01/2025

In "Setting Boundaries: Turns Out It's Not About You," Lindsey Krause challenges the conventional self-help approach to boundaries. This insightful book reframes boundary setting not as a selfish act, but as a crucial element of healthy relationships and social responsibility. Drawing on psychology and art therapy, Krause explores how our personal limits impact those around us, from casual encounters to intimate connections. Through relatable anecdotes and practical strategies, the book guides readers towards a deeper understanding of how setting (or failing to set) boundaries shapes our shared reality. It's a call to action, encouraging empathy and respect in our interactions, offering a refreshing perspective on personal limits as powerful tools for collective betterment.

4.5 / 8 ratings

Review Setting Boundaries

"Setting Boundaries: Turns Out It's Not About You" by Lindsey Krause isn't your typical self-help book; it's a refreshing and insightful exploration of boundaries that goes beyond the usual "me-first" approach. Instead of focusing solely on personal well-being, Krause cleverly highlights the ripple effect our boundaries have on those around us, emphasizing the importance of mutual respect and empathy. This perspective immediately sets it apart from many similar titles, making it a genuinely engaging and thought-provoking read.

What struck me most was the author's ability to blend psychological theory with relatable, real-life anecdotes. The book avoids overly academic language, making the complex topic of boundaries accessible to everyone, regardless of their background. The narratives presented felt authentic and genuine, allowing readers to connect with the experiences and easily see themselves reflected in the situations described. I particularly appreciated how Krause navigated the messy realities of human interaction, acknowledging the complexities and nuances involved in setting and respecting boundaries in various relationships – from casual acquaintances to close family members.

The book effectively challenged my own preconceived notions about boundaries. Like many, I initially thought of boundaries as solely a mechanism for self-preservation, a way to protect myself from emotional exhaustion or manipulation. Krause, however, broadened my understanding by showing how setting healthy boundaries isn't selfish, but rather a crucial act of social responsibility. It's about creating space for respectful interactions, preventing misunderstandings, and fostering healthier relationships overall. This shift in perspective was incredibly empowering.

The practical advice offered within the book is both insightful and actionable. Krause doesn't just explain the why behind setting boundaries; she also provides clear and concise strategies for implementation. The advice is not preachy or judgmental, but instead delivered with a compassionate and encouraging tone, making it easy to apply the principles to one’s own life. I found the suggestions particularly helpful in addressing areas where I struggled – such as communicating my needs effectively and recognizing my own personal limits.

While the book is relatively short, it’s surprisingly impactful. It’s the kind of read that stays with you long after you finish the last page, prompting ongoing reflection and self-assessment. The conversational style keeps the information engaging and prevents it from becoming dry or tedious. Overall, "Setting Boundaries: Turns Out It's Not About You" is a valuable resource for anyone seeking to better understand and implement healthy boundaries in their lives. It's a must-read for those who, like myself, have struggled with this concept, and even for those who feel they already have a strong understanding of boundaries, as it offers a fresh and nuanced perspective on this important aspect of interpersonal relationships. I highly recommend it.